My Trip

For the second year in a row, I flew to Maryland to visit my very good friend, Carole Sue. She and her husband, Norm, graciously had given me air miles so that I could get back there. Carole Sue and I have been friends for 40 years and this post is as much about enduring friendships as it is about what we did when we were together.

I left Paso Robles right after work on a Thursday and drove to Santa Barbara where I was spending the night with another dear friend, Marilyn. Marilyn and I hadn't seen each other in months and I was looking forward to getting caught up with her. It was an interesting start to my trip. Poor Marilyn was having septic tank issues and though a repairman had been to her house several days in a row, there was still no fix in sight. We couldn't flush! We joked about bonding and becoming even better friends over a shared toilet bowl. I offered to get us a hotel room but Marilyn said it was Fiesta in Santa Barbara. That meant there wouldn't be any lodging to be found. No worries. We sat and talked for hours and limited our liquid intake.

The next morning, I left Marilyn's and drove through my old neighborhood in Goleta to where the S.B. Airbus was located. What a great idea! I caught the Airbus to LAX. It was a pleasant, relaxing drive without the stress of navigating L.A. traffic and I was dropped off right at my Southwest terminal. I dozed off and on during the 5 1/2 hour flight. I had managed to only have a carry-on so I was on the curb very shortly after landing. Carole Sue was waiting in a cell phone lot so I texted her to "Come and Get It!!" The text I got back said, "It's the black car." Hmmm. Here is what I could see...

Fortunately, she could see me better than I could see her! I hadn't laid eyes on Carole Sue in over a year but as soon as we were together the months fell away. I've known her for so long. We grew as women together, raised children together, vacationed together. We've each seen our children married, celebrated the births of grandchildren, buried a parent. For most of those years, there were four of us. Her husband, Norm, and my (ex) husband were also the best of friends. It's actually a bit painful at times to be with Norm and Carole Sue. It is so obvious that someone is missing. However, long-standing friendships are precious and few and there is no way that I will ever allow a divorce to separate me from these fabulous cohorts.

After a full day of traveling, I had four days with the Mayfields. Carole Sue and I love to shop together so the first day after arriving, we joyfully set off for an adventure. We stopped first at a little quirky store that had lots of toys and souvenirs but they also had postcards. That's what I was looking for and Carole Sue waited patiently while I picked up a card for each grandchild. What kid doesn't love to get mail? On the way out of the store I headed confidently for "the black car." Unfortunately, it was not Carole Sue's black car and I startled the person who was sitting in the front seat. I sheepishly followed Carole Sue to the right car and then she, ever the diplomat, scooted back to explain and apologize to the other driver. Next we visited a consignment store. We happily poked around for several hours. Carole Sue had just had a birthday and I was hoping she would find something she loved so that I could buy it for her. Score!! I actually found her a really cute dress right before the store was closing and on my final pass through the racks. I had to talk her into it but I think she was glad later. She looked fabulous!!

The next day was Sunday and I surprised everyone (especially myself) by getting up and ready in time to make it to church by 9 a.m. It was a great service and I loved the worship. I've been in the pre-school department at my own church for months and while I could attend the early service, the fact is that I don't. It's been a sticking point for me. It was so nice to be somewhat anonymous and be able to soak it all in even though I was a bit foggy due to jet lag. We later enjoyed the beautiful day for a while out on the patio of the church.

Carole Sue spoils me (one of the few advantages of not seeing each other often) so she cooked awesome meals. After church, we ate out on their deck. The menu? Waffles from scratch, bacon, and fresh fruit. Delicious! In the evening we headed over to a little beach that is just for the use of their community. Did I mention that the weather was beautiful?

On Monday, Norm went to work and Carole Sue and I took off for a little tourist town called St. Michaels. It was about an hour away on the Eastern Shore. Do I sound like I know where I was? It reminded me a lot of Cambria and we had a great time looking in all the little shops. Just before we got to the town I spotted what I thought was an eagle. I was so excited! I made Carole Sue turn around and go back, pull over on the shoulder of the highway, and wait while I took a couple of pictures. It actually turned out to be an osprey but it was still cool.

On my last full day in Annapolis, Carole Sue and I went to another consignment shop called Honeysuckle. It is a really nice store and we had gone together there last year as well. It has become an annual tradition. We spent a contented three hours there. Funny thing - we found the exact same dress that I had bought Carole Sue but this one was in my size. I tried it on but unfortunately, while it looked great on Carole Sue, it was not right for me. We joked about how crazy it would have been to have matching dresses at our age.

After Honeysuckle, we made what we thought would be a quick stop at Sam's Club. Carole Sue wanted me to give her my opinion on some frames for new glasses. I'm afraid I just muddied the water and no frames were chosen. I waited in the book department while Carole Sue ran to grab grapes and a couple of other items and then we headed to the parking lot. We stood by Carole Sue's car, the black one, while she somewhat frantically searched for her cell phone. As she looked through her handful of purse, grapes, keys, glasses frames...Wait! What? We were shocked to find that Carole Sue had walked all through Sam's Club and clear out to her car with a hot pair of frames with no lenses. We hurriedly stuffed the purloined frames into her purse, ran back into the store, and furtively slipped them back onto the display. We then retraced her steps through the store looking for the lost phone only to eventually find it ... in her car... the black one. We laughed all the way home.

Too soon, it was time to leave. How did it go so fast? Come to think of it, when did we get this old? In a flash the hours waiting in the airport passed, the hours on the plane passed, the dash from one terminal to another dragging my dilapidated carry-on so I could catch my bus passed, the ride back to Santa Barbara, and then finally the drive home. A few days in Maryland over for another year but a 40-year friendship that will last forever.

Oh, and look what I found tucked into my suitcase after I left.

Somehow, after I had admired these earrings in St. Michaels, Carole Sue managed to buy them without my noticing and hid them for me to find later - another awesome memory.

Old Friends

It seems, that in our lifetime, we are blessed with just a few precious and lasting friendships. At least that's the case for me. I could not produce a dozen good friends but I could come up with four or five, friends that know me well, stand by me, hold me accountable, encourage me, and laugh with me. One of those friends is Donna. I have known her for 40 years. She and her husband, Jay, were best friends with Paul and I. Fortunately, even though Paul is out of the picture, Jay and Donna have maintained their friendship and closeness with me and for that I am so grateful. Years ago, when Paul lost a job due to drug addiction, they waited for us outside our church on the first Sunday after he had gotten fired, and accompanied us inside so that we were surrounded with support. I was terrified that day and so uncomfortable - feeling like everyone must know what had happened. To see their faces as we arrived and then to walk in with them and sit with them on either side of us was such a blessing. I've never forgotten it. Now it is 30 years later and we are still friends, though, since they live in Auburn, we don't get together too often.

My latest grandchild, Arrow, was born October 16th and Donna turned 60 on October 20th. Donna had just had her first grandchild and had returned from visiting little Giannah in Massachusetts the week before her birthday. Since Arrow had arrived safely, I impulsively decided to drive to Auburn and surprise Donna. I figured she would be missing her sweet granddaughter and might also be mourning turning 60 (or is it just me that did that) so I thought she might need some comfort from me. I was also feeling somewhat worn down and thought a weekend away with friends might be just the ticket. I called Jay and he said they had no plans for the weekend so the timing was good. I borrowed my Dad's car because as you know, if you have read previous blogs, my car is less than dependable. And no, I did not take his Miata!

http://mostly-musing.blogspot.com/2011/07/my-car.html
http://mostly-musing.blogspot.com/2012/04/birthday-tribute-to-my-dad.html

I left on a Thursday, right after I got off work. It took me 6 hours to drive to Auburn including the 4 stops I made. I tend to feel that I am required to take a bathroom break every time a decent place is available but really I just needed to get out and stretch. That drive up I-5 is so boring! I was prepared, however. I had taken a C.D. of a Women's Retreat that I had been wanting to listen to. All the way up, I was encouraged as I listened to a study on the book of Joshua. It was my own private mini-retreat. I was a little bit proud of myself for making the trip and for not even being scared at the rest stops. I was nervous going through Sacramento but after that, I began to get so excited. I made it to Auburn at 10:50 p.m., ran into the Bel Air Supermarket for a supply of wine, and then headed to Donna's house. Jay had promised to leave the front door unlocked and since Donna is a night-owl like me, I knew she'd still be up. I pranced in the front door to find Donna "decorating for fall". She had boxes out and fake pumpkins strewn about - so like her. I think I about gave her heart failure as she tried to process what she was seeing. So fun! We stayed up for hours talking and sharing grandchildren stories. There is nothing like spending time with a friend who has known you forever!

I slept late the next morning and it was fabulous!! It was as if being in a different place with different people was allowing me to shed some of the burdens that I tend to carry and enabled me to rest. And Donna, being the godly woman that she is, let me sleep.

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, It will be reckoned a curse to him.  Pro. 27:14

Needless to say, we got sort of a late start but that was O.K. We had no schedule. We went to visit Donna's sweet mom who is now in a rest home. It brought back memories of visiting my mom before she died. Then we took off to shop, one of our favorite pastimes. Leaving the rest home, we had to drive through the quaint little downtown area of Auburn. It's an interesting place...

This is actually a huge, cement statue that is outside of a dental office. Since I work for a dentist, I found this interesting. Donna said that the dentist himself was the artist and there are several other huge figures surrounding his office. I'm just not sure that I would feel comfortable visiting this dentist.

Next we headed "down the hill" a bit. I had brought up some peacock feathers and I wanted Donna to make an arrangement that I could give to Melissa as a housewarming present using my feathers. Melissa loves peacocks but I needed Donna to lend her artistic expertise to the project. We shopped for hours to find just the perfect container. Along the way, we found this place...

Why am I including this picture? I found it so funny and I made Donna drive me closer to get a good picture. Donna and I sort of get a tad crazy when we are together. (Also, there may have been at least one hookah party on my patio but I'm not swearing to that!)

Jay bar-b-cued that night and he is a wonderful cook. Chicken, salmon, asparagus, etc. Also, one of Donna's Auburn friends had dropped off a plate of homemade cream puffs and Donna made me help her eat them. As a good friend, I was happy to sacrifice my diet for her.

The next day, Donna worked hard at getting the peacock arrangement just right. Notice the serious concentration...

She is a perfectionist and does beautiful work! Here is the finished project...

Donna also took me to a Hobby Lobby store! Wow! We don't have one around here and it was so fun. Their fabrics were beautiful and I was forced to buy a little, even though I wasn't sure what I would do with them. I could have spent a fortune but I limited myself to these...

We also discovered an upscale thrift store where we shopped for quite a while. It was there that we had a somewhat disturbing experience. Donna has lost 40 pounds and she looks great! However, she has not replaced her bras and you know what happens when women lose weight. You lose the girls first. We were sharing a dressing room when I noticed that Donna's bra was doing absolutely nothing for her! I left her with strict instructions to replace her bras and I intend to call her and make sure she has obeyed. Just like eating the cream puffs, being an intimate apparel whistle blower is what good friends do for each other. That night was Donna's actual birthday so we were meeting Jay at an Outback Restaurant. I had never been and we had a great time together (although Jay's cooking is superior). I was struck by how fortunate I was that I could still feel comfortable with Jay and Donna even though there should have been four of us instead of three.

By the way, I should mention that Jay has also lost 40 pounds and he looks great as well.

All too soon the weekend was over and I returned to reality. Such sweet memories! And though I went up thinking that I was going to comfort my "old" friend, it was she who ministered to me. I came home rested and refreshed and so grateful for the blessing of friendships. I wanted to do something for Donna to thank her for the awesome weekend so I decided to make her a Christmas stocking to keep at her house for her granddaughter in case she comes to visit at Christmas time. I used fabric that I had bought at Hobby Lobby. Donna loves giraffes so the stocking is a little unconventional but I don't care.

"Good company in a journey makes the way seem the shorter."  Izaak Walton

Reflections on a Garage Sale

So, my daughter, Sarah, decided that she wanted to do a garage sale. She was ready to get rid of some stuff and she lives right downtown so it is a great location. But, of course, since most women do not want to do anything alone, she invited me to join her. Translated, that means that I had to haul two trunk loads of crap to her house, work Friday night until 10 p.m. helping her organize stuff and then try to get up Saturday morning (my day off!) and get out and about by 8 or so.

I always have a thrift store pile going but I'd much rather go to a thrift to buy more stuff than sit on Sarah's front porch for 4 hours hocking our wares. But you know, I love my kids, so sometimes I gotta do stuff that isn't terribly exciting. (I'm polishing my halo right about now.)

I decided that I needed a little something special to get me going that morning so I offered to make a McDonald's run for me, Sarah, and my grandson, Gabriel. I hadn't had a sausage and egg biscuit in years and it sounded fabulous. I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. and hit the snooze button about 9 times, finally coming to with a shock at about 7:30. I threw myself out of bed, tossed on some shorts, spit on my hair, and ran out the door. I didn't even brush my teeth! I was shocked to see that the McDonald's was absolutely packed at 8:15 in the morning. I mean, you would have thought it was a famous gourmet restaurant! It was standing room only. Good thing I was "to go". I ordered the breakfast platter for Gabriel. I figured it was an assortment so he was bound to be happy with at least some of it. After I had ordered, I noticed this large number posted by the picture of the "platter". It was "1090". I looked again, squinted a little, and realized that next to the number 1090, in small letters, was the word "calories". Holy Smokes!! One thousand ninety calories just in the breakfast? Looked again - my biscuit breakfast had 510 calories. Plus, in a fit of abandon, I had also ordered hash browns. Add another 150 calories. Whatever. It was 8:15 on a Saturday morning, I looked like a slob, and I was just too tired to care. And the day had just begun!

I arrived at Sarah's with our breakfasts, which now contained enough calories to feed a small village for several days. Sarah had a wonderful attitude. She had been up much earlier than me and she and Gabriel had already neatly arranged everything onto her front lawn. It was a pitiful display. We really had mostly clothes which aren't the biggest draw at a garage sale. We would watch some people slow down and do the "drive by" and then keep on going. Now, mind you, this was crap that just the other night I wanted to dump at the AmVet trailer. Now, I was taking it personally that no one wanted to sort through my crap and pay me what I thought it was worth! Eventually, there were a few rushes and sales picked up. I was happy to at least make back the cost of my breakfast and Sarah did quite a bit better than me. During lulls, we chatted and looked through each other's stuff. I ended up loading a fair amount back into my car. For example, Sarah had seven champagne flutes that never sold. You know I have quite an active social life so I figured I could always use more champagne flutes. Score! I had donated a pair of earrings to the sale because Sarah had told me I should never wear them again. Come to find out, they never made it out to the lawn. She kept them! Hmmm. Oh well. They will look better on her.

Lots of very nice people stopped by. One group of four women arrived in an Escalade. They were having too much fun! One of Sarah's items was a small crystal ice bucket. One of these ladies was looking at it and commenting on how she liked it but that it wouldn't hold much ice. Her friend told her she should go ahead and get it. The woman replied, "It's so small, I would just have to fill it with ice and pour my booze right into it and drink out of it." We decided we liked her style. One man came by and wanted to know if we had any guns for sale. Um, is that legal we wondered? The 80 year old neighbor lady from down the street stopped by and we learned a lot about her history of flea marketing as a business, when her husband had died, where each of her sisters lived, etc. You get the idea. The nice thing was, we took the time to listen to her. In fact, Sarah was great about asking her questions and encouraging her to talk. We had no where else to be and our Craig's List ad said the sale went until noon so technically, we were working and were legally bound to sit on the porch and chat with strangers until then.

Sarah was trying to foster entrepreneurship in Gabriel. He had helped her drag everything outside so that had earned him two 12-packs of soda. He was supposed to try to sell them for a buck each and he would get to keep his profits. Several of Sarah's friends very sweetly stopped in just to buy soda from Gabriel. He got off to a bit of a rough start. His first customer was a nice young woman who had recently gotten married. Sarah had been her wedding coordinator. It was a little early for Gabriel so he needed a bit of prodding to semi-politely ask her whether she wanted Coke or Sprite but as the morning wore on, he warmed to the task. Pretty soon, he was sitting out there hollering at the browsers and actually selling more than me! The highlight of his day was when Sarah's friend, Robert, drove up. He had come just to buy soda and surprised Gabriel buy buying all ten of the remaining Sprites. Suddenly, Gabriel was very protective of his stash of money and quite excited about his earnings. I actually managed to sell my king sized comforter. It was in great shape. I just can't fit it in my washing machine. I hope the people who bought it don't mind the cat barf that precipitated the sale.

Finally, noon arrived and we began to pack up. We had one other family group stop and we let them take whatever they wanted. It saved us the trouble. Then we loaded up what was left and off we went to the AmVet trailer. I was home by 1:30 p.m. and was worn out. Would I do it again? Well, I figured that between the prep time before the sale and the time spent the day of the sale, I made about $4 an hour. Frankly, I'd rather sleep in. But...there were a few things that made the day remarkable...

I'm blessed to have daughters who don't seem to mind my company so spending a morning with Sarah was a blessing.

I enjoyed seeing the camaraderie of women as they enjoyed a morning together and was reminded of my own good friends and what they mean to me.


I was humbled as I watched families gather up clothes and be grateful for them.

I was thankful that I did, eventually, make it to the AmVet trailer.

And lastly, I must not eat breakfast at McDonald's!

The Picture

I have a very good friend who lives back East. She would do anything for me, I think, and on several occasions has come out here to spend just a weekend with me and lift my spirits. Last year was one such weekend. We were going to spend the whole time doing girl stuff - eating, drinking and shopping! Carole Sue and I spent one whole day in Cambria and it was beautiful! We totally played tourists. The highlight of the day had to be the first little shop we stopped in. We had parked our car, crossed the street and were just beginning to walk down Cambria's main street. We were approaching a very small A-frame building. There was a man sitting out front and he had some sort of pipe in his hands. I thought he was a plumber working on the building. As we drew near, he beckoned us inside. It turned out that he was an artist and the little shop was filled with very large and unusual pieces of art.  Ricardo proceeded to tell us his life story. He was so excited to have visitors. He spoke of the "universe" and "energy" and "destiny" and we all chatted happily as we examined his work. He did have some amazing pieces but none were smaller than a dishwasher or cheaper than a Mexican cruise. Finally, however, we discovered that he had a box filled with small prints of some of his work. By this time we were all friends and Carole Sue was anxious to spend just a little money, especially since Ricardo was so pleased to have company. Carole Sue decided that she would buy us each a print to commemorate our trip and she encouraged me to pick one out. She chose a very simple one that had a single flower in the center but I was drawn to more colorful prints. I finally picked one out that had lots of golds, brown, green, blue and red all over it.

"You sure that's the one you want?" I assured Carole Sue that I was happy with my choice. Hers seemed a little too sedate for me. Ricardo told me that he had titled my print "Casino" and he signed it for me. "This is the one you want?" I really didn't know what was the matter with Carole Sue. It was a simple 5 x 7 print. Anyway, Ricardo was so pleased with our purchases that he offered to get in our car with us and show us where we could get our pictures professionally framed. We politely declined and eventually went on our way.

When we were out of earshot of Ricardo, Carole Sue again questioned my selection. "I love it!" I was emphatic. To which she replied, "You do know it's a picture of women's private parts, don't you?"

What? Uh oh. I took a closer look. Sure enough, it appeared that I had picked out a somewhat abstract rendition of lots of female torsos. The truth of the matter, though, was that I didn't care. I still liked it. But I felt I had to give Carole Sue a hard time. "Do you mean to tell me that you knew all along but you still let your good friend buy a picture of va-jay-jays?" Carole Sue was aghast! "Don't say that word!" (My youngest daughter teaches me slang. I am so hip.) Anyway, the shock value was awesome and I spent the rest of the day goading her about it. We laughed ourselves silly over the whole thing. I told her that in memory of our awesome weekend I was going to frame my print and hang it some place where I could see it often. And that's exactly what I did. I hung it in my bedroom and every time I look at it I laugh a little and remember two old friends having the time of their lives.