Things That Have Been In My Bedroom Besides A Man

I had daydreamed about living in the country for years. I didn't really think I ever would but God blessed us and 16 years ago we moved here - 14 acres of dirt and weeds and bugs. Love it!! It has made for some interesting experiences along the way. I realized that my bedroom seems to have had a plethora of visitors and they aren't the kind that will rub your back or make you coffee. So here is a review of the company I've had over the years...

It started off late one night the first week we were living here. Jenny, Melissa, and I were still up doing unpacking sort of stuff. I headed down the hallway towards my room to put some stuff away. Do you know what a potato bug is? (Google it!) They are gross, disgusting, and entirely other-worldly.

http://www.lifeperfected.com/spinach/potatobug.html

Well, a potato bug came charging out of my room. (Yes! They can charge!) It was running down the hallway right at me, chasing me! It seemed to be saying, "Back up offa my grill!" I quickly turned around and ran back to the kitchen. I knew the girls would be no help and the man posing as my husband was sound asleep so it was up to me. I grabbed the flyswatter. I know, it makes no sense. But I was somewhat desperate for a weapon and you can't squish those ugly things. I headed into battle and managed to get the potato bug onto the flyswatter. I ran back down the hallway with it all the while screaming for the girls to open the screen door where I proceeded to throw it outside. Whew! Who knew that this would just be the beginning.

Several years later, in the middle of the night, a potato bug dropped right out of the sky and into the middle of my bed! How does that happen? There is a heater vent right over the bed. It's never been used in 16 years and the slots are very small. I didn't see how a bug that size could get through but nevertheless, it's the only source I could figure out unless this was a mutant potato bug that had developed the ability to fly. In our panic we began flailing our arms in the dark with really no knowledge of where the thing would end up. I found it the next morning, alive, in our bathroom, nosed into the corner like it was in shock. I had a system now, though, so I again got the flyswatter and out the door it went.

The next visitor to my bedroom was a baby rattlesnake. My brother, Tim, was here with a crew of guys and they were working out front landscaping in preparation for Jen and Zac's wedding. Zac was helping Tim but had come in for a drink of water. He happened to glance down the hallway and he saw several of our cats in my room, acting somewhat suspiciously. He went down to my room and found a small, injured and bleeding, but alive, snake. Without thinking, he picked it up and carried it outside to my brother. "Look what I found in Mom's room!" My brother replied, "Uh, Zac, you got a baby rattlesnake there." Zac quickly dropped it and someone finished it off. Don't cry for the snake. Cry for me! How does a snake get in my room? I don't have a cat door simply because I figure the cats would bring me lots of presents. So my guess is that a cat walked through an open door with a snake hanging out of it's mouth and no one noticed! Not acceptable.

Though the next guest was in my room, it was my youngest daughter, Melissa, that suffered. It was a hot summer night and there were quite a few people here swimming. Melissa was headed out to the pool and for some reason, she decided to go out the sliding glass door in my room. She didn't bother to turn on the light but she would live to regret that decision. As she crossed the threshold of the door she stepped in something very squishy, slimy and gross. She didn't know what it was but she knew it wasn't good. She panicked and ran out the door, screaming bloody murder. (If you know Melissa, you know she has a flair for the dramatic.) She jumped onto the steps of the pool, frantically trying to get the gunk off her foot. At the sound of all the commotion, I headed back to my room to see what the problem was. When I turned on my light I saw a disemboweled rat right at my sliding glass door. It had a footprint in the middle of it! Ewww! When Melissa found out what she had stepped on the screaming started all over again. I never blamed her for being so grossed out but the rest of us did get a good laugh out of her distress. Again, however, I must ask the question, "How does no one see a cat walk in with a rat in it's mouth?"

More recently, I was sitting in bed one night reading when I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye. I was startled to see a mouse run across my bedroom and hide under my cedar chest. Great! I'm not afraid of mice but how do you really sleep comfortably knowing you have that sort of company? I looked and looked but couldn't find the mouse so I finally went back to my reading. Eventually, it again made a run for it. I opened my screen door and after multiple attempts I somehow managed to herd it out the door. This technique would prove useful for my next, and latest, non-human visitor.

It was a Sunday afternoon and I was contentedly lounging in bed after church watching HGTV. As an added bonus, we had leftovers from Brandon (my son-in-law's brother) and Melissa's rehearsal dinner and they were delicious. I happily walked out to the kitchen, fixed my plate of leftovers, and then headed back towards my room. To my shock, there was a small snake right in the doorway of my room. I'm sure it wasn't there a few minutes earlier. Now what? Home alone. I put down my plate and ran for the garage to find a weapon of some sort. I grabbed a large bucket. I don't think I was thinking too clearly because that dang bucket really did me no good. Whatever! This was a true crisis! I ran across the patio and entered my bedroom through the infamous sliding glass door, assuming that I would have the element of surprise on my side. The snake was gone!! I couldn't believe it! I was going to have to sell the house and move. I may have tolerated a mouse in my room but I sure wasn't going to put up with a snake in there. I began to cry out loud to God. "Please!!! Don't do this! Show me that snake. I can't take it!" And God, in His mercy, answered. Again, like the mouse before it, I caught slight movement off to the right. There was the snake curled up and hiding behind a small suitcase that was sitting on my floor. It had just missed going into my closet. That would have been a disaster! It could live in my closet for years and never be found. Anyway, I looked at the snake closely and determined that it was not a rattlesnake. That meant it could live, just not in my room. Looked at the snake again. Looked at my bucket. I tried to coax the snake into the bucket but it wasn't having any of that. I finally used the bucket to sort of nudge the snake and it suddenly darted right out my sliding glass door. To this day, I know that unseen heavenly hands guided him and I'm thankful!!

Did I mention that my bedroom is my refuge and my sanctuary?