a sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it
I consider myself a compassionate person. Lately, however, I have been reflecting on what compassion truly entails. It occurs to me that sometimes, my compassion only reaches halfway. It is actually more of a judgement because it doesn't involve the "desire to alleviate" the other person's distress. Why is it that some people are ministered to more easily? Why can I be so empathetic with one and so harsh with another?
Emotions definitely play a part in my reactions to people. I feel what I believe to be genuine compassion for my ex. Some don't understand that. "Why? He made his own choices. He's where he thought he wanted to be. Don't waste compassion on him. He did it to himself." Those statements are true but still I think about him in a compassionate way. I spent too many years loving and caring for him. Maybe it's because I don't see how he can NOT be distressed. He thinks he's happy but I think he's just deluded. Now that could be my pride talking. As I've shared before, I do tend to wonder how he can possibly live without me. But honestly, even apart from me, how can he exist outside the comforts of family? How does he reconcile his current life with what he once experienced? How does he see his daughters or grandchildren so infrequently? He's in a pit of his own making but he's too deceived to realize it. At least, that's what I think. Who really knows? But that's why I feel compassion for him - because he doesn't seem to know any better. And I would like to alleviate his distress. Unfortunately, I have no position in his life anymore. Thankfully, I can leave his soul to God, pray for him, but can also understand that his pit is not mine to decorate or destroy.
On the other hand, I met a young woman recently and spent just brief moments with her. She was suffering some over a breakup with a boyfriend who happened to be an older married man. Did I feel any compassion for her? No! Perhaps it hit too close to home. My attitude towards her was, "What did you expect, you dumb shit?" And yet, she was in a pit of her own making, just like I envision my ex to be. She needs the Lord. She is deceived and deluded. She is distressed. One of my daughters challenged me on my attitude. She asked me why I could be so compassionate with some but not others. I had to stop and ponder that question. She had a valid point. Perhaps it is because I had no vested interest in this young woman. She is virtually a stranger to me. Does that make her less worthy? The bottom line is that God asks us to love and serve others. Many are not deemed "deserving" in our feeble minds. Good thing that God doesn't take that approach with me.
The Lord describes Himself as "compassionate" in many verses in the Bible. My desire should be to be more like Him. That means having compassion for my ex while maintaining a healthy boundary and it also means having concern for the young woman who so unwittingly placed herself in a sinful, bound-to-fail situation. People are suffering all around me. I am struck more by that fact every day. I pray that God teaches me to rejoice in the compassion He has given so freely to me so that I can then offer His compassion to whoever crosses my path.
Colossians 3:12
New International Version (NIV)
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,gentleness and patience.
Psalm 145:8
New International Version (NIV)
8 The Lord is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
slow to anger and rich in love.
