The Race

Friday is my day off and I usually have an appointment or two in town that requires me to be presentable. I LOVE the Fridays where I get to stay home all day and be a slob. Today was one of those days. No appointments, the house reasonably clean, grocery shopping done, a day to sleep in...except I didn't. I woke up early and I was bummed about that. I am always operating on too little sleep and even when I do try, sleep is elusive. So when my eyes popped open before 7:30 a.m., I was not too happy. When by 8:00 a.m. I was still unable to go back to sleep, I decided that maybe today was a good opportunity to turn over a new leaf, at least for an hour or two. Why not get up and go for a walk/run up Peachy Canyon? Why not? Because I am a woman who hates exercise! Hates it!! However, I do tend to feel guilty about not exercising, and a walk up Peachy is pretty pleasant, especially when I have the time. O.K. I would do it. 

I staggered out of bed only to notice out the window that it was raining. Ah, shucks. There went my walk. I was up, though, so I decided to do some Bible Study. I got some coffee, turned on my electric blanket, and settled in. It was awesome just to relax, read the Bible, do my study, go off on rabbit trails about why the sons of Korah weren't destroyed (Numbers 16 and 26), and really take my time pondering the lesson. Eventually, I got up to start laundry and the dishwasher and realized that it was no longer raining. I figured I may as well get moving so I got dressed for a walk. I drove my car down to the bottom of the driveway where I left it. I'm no fool - I was going for a walk but I certainly had no intention of hoofing it back up my driveway. If you've been out to my house you understand why.

Anyway, off I went. There is a marker one mile up the road so on the rare occasion that I do go walking, I head for that marker and then turn around and come back and figure two miles is good enough. I tried to go at a pretty decent pace because I wanted this to count. After a while, when the road was level, I jogged (slowly) for short periods of time. Bear in mind that I am about as out of shape as I can be and I am also a bit old. I picked an object or spot some distance ahead of me, kept my eyes on that goal, and ran until I reached that spot. I don't like to breathe hard, I don't like to sweat, I don't like to get tired and winded. I have no stamina and really no discipline or determination to exercise. However, I found that by setting a goal and keeping my eyes on it, I was able to accomplish reaching that goal. 

I thought of Hebrews 12:1-3,

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 

and also Philippians 3:13-14.

13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Definition of PERSEVERANCE: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition

It wasn't that easy for me but I was pleased to make it home and also glad that God brought to mind these verses as encouragement for me. I discovered that if I looked down, essentially taking my eyes off the prize (the prize being able to walk instead of run), I could not see the progress I was making. I could only see my steps right in front of me. I lost track of how far I had to go. It was only when I kept my eyes lifted up, fixed on my goal, that I was able to keep running and push myself to reach the spot and not give up. At one point, I chose to run towards a mailbox that I knew was up ahead but it was around the corner and unseen. But I knew it was there. I ran towards it and when I finally rounded the corner and could see the mailbox, I realized that it was a bit farther than I recalled. But I persevered because that was my goal and I made it.

I need to remember this as I plod through my days. I am headed for heaven, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I am definitely on my way! Eternal fellowship with Christ is my prize. It's easy for me to look down, to concentrate on all my struggles here on earth. My family is not unique - all families have troubles, concerns, tragedies, setbacks, sadness, disappointments, unfulfilled desires, and sickness. It's all part of living with the affects of sin. But we can make a choice to look up, to recognize that our goal and our prize is ahead of us. This life on earth, praise God, is not all there is. I forget to let God encourage me with this confidence and I get bogged down sometimes. I take my eyes off Him. The other thing I realized on my walk this morning is that I needed to keep going. When I got to the spots where I walked again instead of running, the temptation was to stop completely. I wanted to sit by the side of the road and wait for some stranger to drive by and take pity on me and drive me home. We don't get much traffic out this way, though, so I just kept moving. It didn't matter how slowly I went. The important thing was that I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Eventually, I caught my breath, and the walk was a little easier, and then I'd run a bit more. Isn't life like that too? God gives us breathers but we have to do our part. We have to keep going. It is keeping our eyes on Jesus that enables us to not grow weary or lose heart. Isn't God creative? I finally get myself my sorry self out the door for some exercise and He throws a spiritual challenge into the mix. 

And for that...I'm eternally grateful!

For Jenny

Tomorrow is Jenny's birthday. She is my second daughter. I remember how thrilled I was being a mother. Sarah, my first, filled my world. When I got pregnant with Jenny I was fearful. I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I loved Sarah. I wondered how I could fit another one into my life without subtracting something from the first. But then sweet Jenny was born and I realized that as mothers, God gives us the capacity for unlimited love. Maybe it sounds silly now, to be afraid that I couldn't love enough, but I was a young mom and didn't know any better. All I wanted was to be the best wife and mother that I could be. Jenny was born  at 1:12 in the afternoon, 6 pounds, 9 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long, (yes, Jenny, I had to look that up ☺) with a full, uncontrollable head of hair. For months, her hair stuck straight up in a natural mohawk. When we took her out anywhere, that's all anyone commented on.

Her hair eventually settled down and she was a beautiful little girl. She was extremely shy and hated being the center of attention. For several years, she cried at her birthday parties or at Christmas when it was her turn to open presents. She would eventually relax but not while all eyes were on her.

Jenny developed a love for all animals. It started with Brandy, a half lab, half golden retriever, that we got when Jen was just a baby. She and Brandy were inseparable. In fact, the first year we had Brandy, every time I yelled at the puppy (because you know, puppies are a pain), Jenny would fall down crying because she thought I was yelling at her. Brandy lived a long and happy life. She made the move with us to Paso and lived to be 16 years old - the best dog we ever had.

Jenny managed to coax a stray cat home from the bus stop one day and convinced us to keep her. Snowball also lived a very long life and was so dear to Jen. Snowball was very patient - Jenny was known to put her in the basket of her two-wheeled bike and fly down the street with her.

Many other animals followed and all were loved. Jenny talked us into getting the infamous Dakota, a dog that was absolutely loyal but trouble from the get-go. Rabbits, turtles, and lots more cats filled our home and now  fill Jenny's own home.

Years flew by...

and then, she met the love of her life.

Jenny had trusted her life to Jesus when she was very young. And now, she knew that God had brought this young man, Zac Hanna, into her life. She met him while she was still in high school and they were working together at Big 5. They fell in love quickly and were engaged in 1999 and married June 17, 2000.

And the years continued to fly by. Seemingly, all of a sudden, my baby has four babies of her own! She is an amazing woman of God, wife, mother, teacher, seamstress, writer, photographer, gardener, homemaker, and now, not just my daughter, but my friend. I am so blessed by her! Happy Birthday, sweet Jenny! I love you so mush!*

*When Jenny was little, spelling was not her best subject. She wrote me many cards where she told me she, "loved me so mush."