I've been thinking about waiting. I remember being pregnant and the long wait for the much anticipated birth. That's a good kind of waiting. I was excited. I was anxious to meet my baby. But in the meantime, I had things to do and preparations to make. Those preparations added to the whole atmosphere of wonder and awe and gratefulness for how God was blessing me.
But what about when we are waiting for things that aren't so good? I have been so conscious lately of the difficulties in many lives. What about waiting for a job? You apply everywhere you can think of and still nothing comes through and the bills continue to pile up. Or maybe you already have a job but it's so miserable that you hate waking up to face it five days a week. And yet, God doesn't seem to give you a way out, at least not yet. Many, many years ago, Paul's mother was very ill with cancer. We had prayed for miracles, for physical healing, but God said, "No." His miracle was to take her home. Waiting for that miracle was agony. She got worse, she didn't know us, she suffered. We took to borrowing an empty hospital room so that we had a place to pray and we begged God to end it! We had accepted that she was not going to be healed in this earthly lifetime so we became anxious for her to wake up on heaven's side. We waited.
How do we understand God's timing? Can we understand God's timing? We can rejoice while we are waiting on God for things that we count as blessings but can we rejoice as we trudge inevitably towards tragedy? I have friends whose tiny daughter will have surgery this week. Each day brings them one day closer to the day they will turn her over to doctors who will cut into her little body. They rejoice in the fact that the outcome will, Lord willing, solve this little one's physical issues but they still have to watch her suffer, be fearful, and then go through the operation and recovery. Other times, we aren't assured of such a positive result. I remember a family member laboring to deliver a child that she already knew was no longer with her but was already held by God. She still had to suffer through labor with absolutely no promise or hope of a reward at the end. Life can be so incredibly painful!
How must Jesus have felt as each day brought him a step closer to the cross? I don't tend to think about that because I have this idea that His suffering was tempered by His all-knowing ability. After all, He was God, He knew what He would go through, but He also knew the end result and He understood why He was going to suffer. But even God in the flesh was subject to the terrible suffering that sin had caused. Just because He was Christ didn't mean that He was exempt. In fact, His suffering was unimaginable, at least to me. And yet, He willingly walked towards it and, for my sake, embraced it.
I often question the "why" of things. What is the purpose of a miscarriage? Couldn't a person just skip that? Is it really necessary for a couple to go through the sting of infertility? What about my failed marriage? I feel like I'm waiting, day after day, for...something. I have no idea for what. How is God using this in my life or in the lives of those around me? And couldn't He have accomplished His will some other way? Why are some marriages still intact but so empty and lonely? Must our little ones be bullied, teased, or left out? And why do some struggle with disabilities?
I am not sure that I will ever understand the point of the personal pains that have affected those I love. However, I do not doubt that God is in control. As a Christian, I know that I am commanded to submit to God. Part of submission is releasing to Him the "why" of things. It is a helpless feeling, waiting as calamity approaches and knowing that you cannot step out of its path. Such is the nature of our human existence, calm days and then tornadoes. Yet the Bible tells me that He knew me, formed me, chose me, and designed me for a purpose. Me! God has things for me to do that are only for me, a purpose beyond myself but a purpose uniquely mine. The same is true for each one of us. Do I trust the Lord? Can I trust Him with my pain? Or harder still, can I trust Him with my children and their suffering? The question isn't, "Can I?" The question is, "Will I?" And while I wait, will I glorify Him? I hope and pray so. Nothing else makes sense.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will direct your paths.
and He will direct your paths.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
GREAT Post! Great song! Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDelete