A Mostly Humorous Look at Being Single

Not too long ago, I had an older woman (well, older than me) tell me that I was "lucky" I was now single. I don't think she's too happy in her marriage! I thought it was a very odd comment to make. I don't feel "lucky" at all. But I decided that I've been expending too much thought lately about my status. In the spirit of "taking a positive outlook", here is a lighter look at being single...

Things I Get to Enjoy Now That I'm Single

1.    I can fart with abandon. (I saw this phrase on a card and couldn't resist.)
2.    I can eat goldfish crackers in bed.
3.    I can put the litter box in the bathtub.
4.    I can go to bed in the same sweats I wore all day.
5.    I can turn on the T.V. at 2 a.m.
6.    I am privileged to get to remove various small creatures (both dead and alive) from my room all   by myself.
7.    If my hair is sticking out in the back, nobody cares.
8.    I can chase the neighbor's dog off (the one that's as big as a small pony) wearing my Spider Man bedroom slippers.
9.    I can take the trash down to the dumpster at midnight.
10.  I can spread my sewing stuff all over the dining room table and leave it there for days.
11.  I can sit outside and watch the sunset and not worry that dinner's not ready.
12.  For that matter, I can skip dinner. Or eat two dinners. And eat them any time I want.
13.  I can turn on my electric blanket without making someone else too hot.
14.  I can sleep sideways across the bed.
15.  I can sit in the back row at church.
16.  I can watch NCIS  for hours. And in the living room if I prefer.
17.  I can talk to myself out loud.
18.  I can stay out after work as late as I like - if I had somewhere to go.
19.  I can build my own fires.
20.  I can use all the towel racks.
21.  I can do my own minor home repairs.
22.  I can buy my own tires for my car.
23.  I can read all night...with the light on.
24.  I can sleep with the cats.
25.  I could get some chickens or a goat, if I wanted to.
26.  I can skip shaving my legs in the winter.
And finally...
27.  I don't have to hold my stomach in when naked.

Don't get me wrong. I'd rather be married. But since that option was taken away from me, I might as well embrace my freedom. Right? Hmmm...

The main thing I'm learning is that I can enjoy depending on God alone. While I still believe that God designed marriage to last forever, sometimes it just doesn't. But that doesn't mean that I am destined for misery the rest of my life. I can joke about silly things but God is so good, so present, so involved in my life that it is impossible to cry for too long. I recently started a "blessing jar" and it is exciting to see the little scraps of paper, all with something written on them that I'm thankful for, filling up the jar. I'm hoping and praying that 2015 is a year filled with growth, acceptance, forgiveness, and contentment as I draw closer to the Savior that holds my very breath in His hands.

Christmas Time Again

I work in a dental office and consequently, a large number of people with very diverse lives cross my path. These days, I am often struck by the hardships that are hidden from public view but that I hear about after a visit or two. Life is hard for many people and there is pain out there that seems overwhelming at times. Loneliness, grief, sickness, abandonment, betrayal, financial struggles, divided relationships and families, aging. The list goes on and on and none of us are immune. We each have something that is hard to bear.

It is traditional, at least in the United States, for us to have high expectations for the Christmas season. I imagine creatively chosen gifts that the recipients think are fabulous, thoughtful and sentimental homemade offerings that will be lovingly remembered, no credit card bills, organized planning so that all is ready ahead of time, decorations worthy of Martha Stewart, fragrant aromas coming from a perfectly executed dinner, family togetherness and harmony, restful reflection, grandchildren listening attentively and quietly to the Christmas story, and an opportunity to focus on the miracle of Christ's birth in a way that I don't accomplish the rest of the year. Surely, I'm not alone in dreaming of this scenario.

Seriously? Who am I kidding? The reality is that I am still struggling with the pain of not having a husband to share anything with and stress and worry about where my life is right now and what I'm supposed to do about it. Needless to say, my high expectations set me up for failure and disappointment every time. Discouragement has set in and anxiety has taken over. Shopping felt last minute and I am uncertain of my choices. There are no homemade ornaments this year because I just couldn't get it together. I did resist the whole credit card trap but I definitely spent more than I had planned. There is a tree up with a few decorations on it but the other Christmas paraphernalia is spread out all over the living room floor. The dining room table is covered with unfinished sewing, there are no menus planned, and there has certainly been no restful reflection or focus on the Savior's birth. So far, not even any Christmas music!!

It is all very troubling to me. I have recently finished a Bible Study on God's sovereignty and it was life changing. It has caused me to examine my life with a different perspective. I know that anxiety is a sin, born of pride, and I am conscience of the fact that God uses adversity in my life for His purposes, His glory, and my good. I'm doing fairly well with that concept. But start to throw in my family and there my trust seems to falter. I HATE to see my kids, my dad, or my brother struggle with anything. I long for all to be cohesive, pleasant, loving, and easy. Let's serve others! Let's comfort those in need. Let's minister to the minions. Let's NOT have the distress or sorrow inside our own walls!

I want to recoil from pain. I want to cry out to God to remove it. I attempt to control an outcome rather than waiting and responding to God. I wrestle against Him instead of with Him. I read a devotional recently that talked about how, as we ponder the Christmas miracle, we usually leave out the pain of that time. Think about Mary, a young but devout girl, willingly saying, "May it be done to me according to Your Word." She risked rejection and persecution due to her "illegitimate" pregnancy. Then think about the pain in Bethlehem when Herod ordered the murder of all the little boys! Jesus' birth, the best day for us as believers, brought unimaginable pain as well. The link below is to the devotional I read:

http://www.faithgateway.com/remember-the-dragon-christmas-invasion/?utm_source=devosdaily&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=devosdaily20141215&spMailingID=47620720&spUserID=ODYzNDIyMzg5NDkS1&spJobID=582853801&spReportId=NTgyODUzODAxS0#.VJRzMl4AbM

I don't have the corner on suffering and I am convicted about how I respond to it. I want to learn to receive my life, knowing it is from the hand of God, and stop fighting it so. Can I say to God, as Mary did, "Let it be according to Your Word?" That is my genuine hope and desire but I am a work in progress. Thankfully, God is infinitely patient!

P.S.

       I don't know much about this book yet, but this is what I've decided to read next. It's called, "anything: the prayer that unlocked my God and my Soul." It sounds applicable to what I've been thinking about. Anybody care to join me?

Anything