Motherhood in the 'hood

When I was a young mom I lived in an older (i.e. declining) neighborhood in Goleta. We had purchased our first home three years after getting married and then the following year my oldest daughter, Sarah, was born. Coincidentally, it was the same neighborhood that I had been raised in and my parents still lived there. In fact, their house was only four doors down from the house we bought. Not long after Sarah came along, one of my best friends, Carole Sue, and her husband, Norm, bought a house right around the corner. So fun! A friend from my high school youth group, Kristi, ended up in a house halfway between Carole Sue and I.

Carole Sue & I in front of Mom & Dad's house.

We were all broke although we weren't acutely aware of that as being a problem. When I was a girl it was an idyllic place to live - outside of Santa Barbara, safe, innocent, made up of working class families with old-fashioned values. The neighborhood was now mainly low-income types or rentals except for the old-timers like my parents. Their next-door neighbor, Joan, still lived there and does to this day. Across the street and up a few houses were Carl and Gladys Wanless - I went to school with their son Mike. I had wonderful memories (wish I still had them) of growing up there and was excited about raising a family in the same area, especially with my kids' grandparents just a stone's throw away.

Eventually, I had three daughters, Carole Sue had a daughter and a son, and Kristi had three boys and a girl. There was always someone to hang with. We'd put the babies in the strollers and walk down to the local thrift store or maybe around the corner to a little park that sometimes had drug paraphernalia in the sand. Carole Sue and I got together at least one morning a week and prayed with each other while the kids played. Kristi's son, Ryan, and my Sarah were the best of friends. Birthday parties were simple affairs on someone's front lawn. We traded babysitting with each other, spent evenings together in a Bible Study or playing music or enjoying fresh lobster that Norm brought home (he worked on the wharf and was occasionally blessed with the gift of a fresh catch). My folks were "Nana" and "Papa" to the whole brood. Later, the Anderson's moved into a house on our same street. They were a wonderful Christian family - I can't remember how many kids they had - and we enjoyed their company also. We had other close friends - Montgomery's, Nielsen's, Hill's - we loved vacationing with them, going to church together and sharing life together and they remain precious to me - but there was just something about being able to walk out my front door and within two minutes I could have the camaraderie of another mom or the support of my mom and dad and my kids had their own little tribe.

Singing at Christmas with the Morris family, Nana & Papa

and with the Mayfields.

Jenny with Sarah, Katie Mayfield, & Joy Anderson.

Melissa is the last one of my daughters to become a mother. She has waited a long time for her dream to become a reality and she is thrilled. Now, she must adjust to being a stay-at-home mom. I feel like all of my girls have to work harder these days to form good relationships with other moms. Lives seem busier and people are more spread apart. Carole Sue, Kristi, Donna, Marilyn, Sue, and many others were the women that helped get me through my days as a young mother. What a blessing they were and are. I hope and pray that all four of my girls have those relationships like I did. The friendships you make when your children are young seem to last a lifetime.

I've watched their kids at a moment's notice, banged on their door in the middle of the night in a crisis, spent hours pouring out my frustrations, and many more hours sharing laughter and tears. They are my history, whether they lived down the street or across town.

Girls - I pray you make your own 'hood!!