I never make New Year's resolutions. In my mind, that is a recipe for disaster and a sure fail. But if ever there was a year that needed something new, it's 2012. New habits, new perspective, new thoughts, new adventures. So I have some plans rambling around inside my head. I don't really want to voice them for fear I'll immediately realize my inability to carry out those plans but somehow, I must make some progress this year.
For example, how long can I continue to pretend that it is Paul's fault that I am eating chips and drinking wine at 10:00 at night? It's been two years this month since he left. I mean, really, it worked for a long time and justifiably so. What else could I have done but stuffed myself at all hours? But enough! So, I very timidly tell you that I have a "Healthy Eating Plan". I say "timidly" because I am so uncertain that any discipline or self-control will be summoned. I haven't exhibited moderation for a very long time. I don't mean that I get drunk or eat to the point of regurgitation. But I have been doing whatever I want, whenever I want, regardless of the fact that it is undoubtedly not good for me. I suppose I have felt "entitled". I've read that some women lose their appetites when their husbands bail. Why not me? At least I would have gotten something out of this deal gone bad. Oh well. I've got to work with what I've got and what I've got right now is a life that lacks self-control. I'd like to say otherwise. I crack jokes about it all the time. Truthfully, it's not funny anymore nor is it enjoyable. Well, maybe it's a little enjoyable but you know what I mean. When you do something all the time, it loses its specialness and ceases to be a party. If I'm going to sit in bed with a bag of Rollos, I WANT TO ENJOY THEM!! And then, of course, there is the guilt. There is nothing like a Rollo hangover laced with guilt to bring you down.
No New Year's plan would be complete without the mention of exercise. While I have eaten with abandon I have restrained myself from exercising. It's been tough but I wanted to make a statement. Not! If you know me at all, you know that I absolutely hate to exercise. I'm not sure what to do about this. Right now, Melissa has signed on as my personal trainer. (This might be a case of "the blind leading the blind".) She loves to dance and she got that Dance Party game for her Wii for Christmas. Our plan is to try to do that a few times a week. I can't dance, I've got no rhythm, and I think I'm going to have a heart attack before a song is even half over. I guess I could hope for that. If I had a heart attack I wouldn't have to worry about the exercise or the darn "healthy eating plan". Anyway, I have been mourning the fact that I am turning 60 this year for many months now so I need to shut up about it and figure that exercise might have a positive effect on this aging bod. It'd be a miracle but one can always dream.
I have some other plans. I want to pray more and complain less. I want to do more Bible Study and watch less HGTV. I want to organize my closets and stop spending needlessly. I want to shave my legs more often and quit biting my fingernails. I want to entertain some and enjoy family and friends and quit moaning about what's missing. I want to embrace contentment and nag less. I suppose I could go on and on but I don't want to be disappointed. More than that, I don't want to disappoint God. I want to be "good" for Him but I don't want to make it all about my "goodness". I want my life to be a relationship with Him and realize that, in the end, He may not actually care how many Rollos I eat. I want to recognize that He cares about me but my focus must be on Him. He longs to spend time with me but it's so that I can come to know Him. So...lots of plans for 2012. For right now, I'm going to pick up all the Rollo wrappers from the floor next to my bed and go eat a grapefruit. And then I'm going to take it a moment at a time.
By the way, that part about shaving my legs more often and not biting my fingernails? Never gonna happen!
Showing posts with label Exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Exercise. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2012
Friday, October 14, 2011
The Amazing "4 Minute Workout"
I hate to exercise! I cannot state this strongly enough. There is nothing about exercise that I like! I have a membership to the cheap gym - who can quibble with $10 a month - but I haven't been in at least 6 months. I've even stopped feeling guilty about not going and still paying. I'm big on guilt so this says a lot about how low I've sunk. Also, I'm pretty sure that I read somewhere that if you went to the gym twice a week for 5 minutes each time your cholesterol would drop dramatically and you could still eat butter. I'm pretty sure that was guaranteed. My body didn't get that memo, however, and my cholesterol did NOT drop, in spite of the fact that I cut down my Goldfish cracker consumption to one large box per week.
Anyway, I was browsing Pinterest (my new favorite time-waster) the other night and came across a short video about an Amazing 4 Minute Workout. According to the trainer on the video, this workout would burn as many calories as a 40 minute run and it would boost your metabolism for the next 12-36 hours.
O.K. This sounded like it had possibilities. I'm sure I could do just about anything for 4 minutes. I took my computer out to the dining room where Melissa was baking a Pecan Pie. I wanted her to support me and also I wanted to show her how buff and dedicated I was. The trainer explained that there would be a series of just 4 exercises that would be done for 20 seconds each, separated by 10 seconds of rest, and then the whole set repeated once. Simple. How could I lose? I started the video and prepared to get boosted! The first exercise was called the squat thrust push up. I had to drop to the floor, kick my legs out behind me, do a push up and then hop up to a standing position again. You were supposed to do as many as you could in 20 seconds. The girl on the video who was demonstrating did about 10 and she wasn't even breathing hard. I thought to myself, "This is awesome. I'll do 4 minutes a day and I'll lose 30 pounds in no time."
O.K. Go. Dropped to the floor, kicked my feet back. So far, so good. However, I realized, after I face-planted on the carpet, that I could not do a push up. You've got to be kidding! Not even one push up? Apparently not. My arms would not hold me. I jumped up and attempted 4 more times and face-planted 4 times as well. O.K. 10 seconds of rest. Yes! I can do this! Next was something called "Mountain Climbers". These consisted of dropping to the ground again, supporting your upper body with your arms and then sort of jogging in place with your back half. Hard to explain but I did fairly well on this part and soon jumped up for my 10 seconds of rest. I was starting to breathe hard. Next came "High knees" which was just running in place with your knees rising up to meet your chest. At this point, Melissa, bless her little heart, became my cheerleader. "Come on, Mom! It says 'High Knees', not 'Low Knees'. Pick up your feet. Get your knees up! You're hardly moving!"
O.K. I'm not hiring her for my personal trainer. I gratefully rested and then did 20 seconds of jumping jacks. Those I can do. Of course, by now, I was gasping for air, but I was halfway there! I can do this! The trainer instructed me to repeat the set. Uh oh. Squat, kick back, push ...plop. Try again. Same result. I figured I'd count it because after all, I was trying. By the time I got to the end of the 4 minutes I was in need of an oxygen mask and a stretcher and I hadn't done one single exercise correctly. Melissa was less than impressed but I decided it counted as an awesome workout since I was so winded. I happily grabbed the box of Goldfish crackers and headed back to my room for some more Pinterest. I wanted to look for the "Amazing 4 Minute Whole House Cleaning" video.
Anyway, I was browsing Pinterest (my new favorite time-waster) the other night and came across a short video about an Amazing 4 Minute Workout. According to the trainer on the video, this workout would burn as many calories as a 40 minute run and it would boost your metabolism for the next 12-36 hours.
O.K. This sounded like it had possibilities. I'm sure I could do just about anything for 4 minutes. I took my computer out to the dining room where Melissa was baking a Pecan Pie. I wanted her to support me and also I wanted to show her how buff and dedicated I was. The trainer explained that there would be a series of just 4 exercises that would be done for 20 seconds each, separated by 10 seconds of rest, and then the whole set repeated once. Simple. How could I lose? I started the video and prepared to get boosted! The first exercise was called the squat thrust push up. I had to drop to the floor, kick my legs out behind me, do a push up and then hop up to a standing position again. You were supposed to do as many as you could in 20 seconds. The girl on the video who was demonstrating did about 10 and she wasn't even breathing hard. I thought to myself, "This is awesome. I'll do 4 minutes a day and I'll lose 30 pounds in no time."
O.K. Go. Dropped to the floor, kicked my feet back. So far, so good. However, I realized, after I face-planted on the carpet, that I could not do a push up. You've got to be kidding! Not even one push up? Apparently not. My arms would not hold me. I jumped up and attempted 4 more times and face-planted 4 times as well. O.K. 10 seconds of rest. Yes! I can do this! Next was something called "Mountain Climbers". These consisted of dropping to the ground again, supporting your upper body with your arms and then sort of jogging in place with your back half. Hard to explain but I did fairly well on this part and soon jumped up for my 10 seconds of rest. I was starting to breathe hard. Next came "High knees" which was just running in place with your knees rising up to meet your chest. At this point, Melissa, bless her little heart, became my cheerleader. "Come on, Mom! It says 'High Knees', not 'Low Knees'. Pick up your feet. Get your knees up! You're hardly moving!"
O.K. I'm not hiring her for my personal trainer. I gratefully rested and then did 20 seconds of jumping jacks. Those I can do. Of course, by now, I was gasping for air, but I was halfway there! I can do this! The trainer instructed me to repeat the set. Uh oh. Squat, kick back, push ...plop. Try again. Same result. I figured I'd count it because after all, I was trying. By the time I got to the end of the 4 minutes I was in need of an oxygen mask and a stretcher and I hadn't done one single exercise correctly. Melissa was less than impressed but I decided it counted as an awesome workout since I was so winded. I happily grabbed the box of Goldfish crackers and headed back to my room for some more Pinterest. I wanted to look for the "Amazing 4 Minute Whole House Cleaning" video.
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