So don't mock me, but lately, I've been zoning out at night watching re-runs of the old classic, "That 70's Show". You know, I never realized how much truth was contained in those episodes. I mean, you do have to ignore the fact that all the kids want to do is get stoned or have sex. But beyond that? Well, there is an occasional nugget of wisdom. For example...
I'm sure we've all known and even loved someone who just doesn't seem to have much to give. Their focus is always on themselves, though sometimes they can hide it pretty well, often for a very long time. Then, seemingly all of a sudden, lives are broken apart because they just can't keep it together any longer. The rest of us struggle to understand what happened.
Self-esteem:
"I figured it out. I know who I love the best. I love myself! I love myself the best! If I could run across the beach into my own arms, I would!" (Jackie)
I'm convinced that the hardest job in the world is raising kids. I did my best but it certainly wasn't always good enough. Kitty was the loving nurturer and Red was the hard ass but between them they opened their home to numerous teenagers trying to find their way and tag-teamed them to get them through. That's what I want for my own kids - to be moms and dads that work together, appreciating the differences that men and women bring to the parenting table and also always having room for someone else's kid.
Parenting:
"Are you trying to kill me? You're killing me. You know that? You're killing your mother. You only get one, you know." (Kitty)
"How about a job stating the obvious because you're getting really good at that!" (Red)
"Honey, I'm sorry if I smothered you. That's just what a mother does. But I've accepted that you're leaving and I'm ready to let you go." (Kitty)
Eric sort of represents the sinner we all are. He tried hard, sometimes succeeded, often failed. He got down on himself a lot and always attempted to live his life using his own limited strength and know-how. He waited until he was desperate before he turned to anyone else for help. I'm embarrassed to say that is too often my approach and I leave God out of the equation until He graciously brings me to my knees.
Human Nature:
"I ruined it. And I knew I was ruining while I was ruining it. I just kept on ruining it." (Eric)
"Bad things happen because I am stupid!" (Eric)
It seems that throughout our lives we will be engaged in a strange dance with other people, trying to get along, understand each other, work and/or live together, and attain peace in our personal lives. It is fascinating to me to watch the people around me as they two-step their way through their day. However, it isn't so fascinating when it involves me. There are times when I feel pretty good about how I relate to others. And then there are the times when I am an idiot and there's nothing more to be said about it. No matter how you slice it, relationships take work.
Relationships:
"You don't cut open the sausage. You just eat it." (Hyde)
"But I love you, Donna." "I love you, too, Eric. But it's not enough." (Donna & Eric)
"Well, you know I love my family. It's just some times I want to get in the car and run 'em all over." (Kitty)
We really are an entitled bunch and so often have the attitude that pain and suffering or inconvenience should not come to us. When my husband left, I was dumbfounded with disbelief and I have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to twist away from that hurt. The reality is that we live in a world corrupted by sin and that is going to color our lives until we are reunited with Christ. Instead of stamping my feet and demanding to know why something has happened, I need to buckle down, deal with the situation, and look for what God will teach me through it. I also need to be grateful that though difficulties are all around us, I am NEVER alone. God walks right there next to me.
Reality:
"You know what I got for my 18th birthday? A draft notice and a malaria vaccine. I never had time to think." (Red)
Honestly, I've struggled with boundaries. I am a people-pleaser and a peacemaker. I don't want anyone mad at me or disappointed in me. I usually try to do what people want me to do even if I don't have time or if I resent what they are asking of me. Often, I have not stood up for myself when I should have. It's something that I'm working on and something that I wish I had learned a long time ago.
Appropriate Boundaries:
"I can't touch an egg."
"Why not?"
"Because it came out of a chicken butt!" (Jackie & Kitty)
I like to think that I am a fairly straightforward person, blunt even, but honest. So I always appreciated Hyde's approach. The only thing is, in my quest for honesty, I have frequently hurt someone's feelings and that's no good. I swing from one extreme to the other, blurting out something that is really how I feel to swallowing thoughts in order not to offend. Balance in life is tough. The Bible has much to say about our words and about truth. I need to study that more!!
Honesty:
"Well, I don't really have a speech prepared, but ... thanks for sucking." (Hyde)
I don't have anything profound to say about food. I want to eat or drink whatever I want, whenever I want, and I want to weigh 120 pounds while doing it. Whatever...
Healthy Eating:
"Kitty, this isn't food. This is what food eats!" (Red)
I hate to admit it but, though I love Kitty's character on the show, I realize that I have a way about me that is similar to Red's. I want to encourage my kids, I try to encourage my kids, but in the end, I too often deliver the message in a backhanded way that makes them feel bad, or leaves them conflicted about what I'm saying. I've always got a "but..." or a "here's an idea..." or a "maybe you could have done this..." . Why can't I just say "good job" or "keep it up" or "I'm so proud of you" or "I'll pray for you" and then leave it at that? I am of the misguided opinion that the world is just waiting for my words of wisdom and that thriving in this world depends on me! It's foolishness on my part and another thing to work on.
Encouragement:
"I've got to admit, Eric. I had my doubts. But hell, you've hardly embarrassed me." (Red)
Lastly, at least for now, is the recognition that we are all in need of some serious rehabilitation. Thankfully, God is patient with us. He gently points out our faults and guides us in His way. We need to recognize His hand and trust that His way is the best way to go.
Sin:
"I can't believe any of you can walk into a church without bursting into flames." (Kitty)
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