My Dream

I dreamed about Paul last night. It was weird. I didn't wake up angry or scared or upset - reflective, I guess you'd say. In my dream, we had a long conversation. I told him a lot of the things that he had done that had hurt me so much. Details are fuzzy at this point - you know how dreams go. But there was a sense of having said so many of the things that I'd never gotten the chance to say. Like, "How could you bring her into our home and expect and even ask me to minister to her?" Or, "How could you so easily walk away from over 35 years of marriage?" "How could you live such a double life?" "How could I not know?" "Don't you miss any of us?" The exact questions elude me now, some 15 hours later. But when I awoke, I was definitely aware that I had unburdened myself, that I had said much of what had been stored up inside for two years. But sadly, I also had a very clear sense that he just didn't get it. The Lord and I have gone round and round about this. Do I say anything at all to him? And what purpose might it serve? I cannot remember how Paul responded in my dream. But I cannot deny that I understood that he was somewhat oblivious to the pain he has caused. And so I wonder. Is this the Lord saying, "Debbie. This is as close as you're going to get to telling him anything. Let it go. It won't do any good. Trust me with your hurts. I've got you covered!"

Let it go!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.       Romans 15:13