A New Perspective

Last night, I watched the movie "Soul Surfer". In case you aren't familiar with the story, it is based on the true experiences of a young teenage girl in Hawaii. She is an awesome surfer but one morning, her arm is bitten off by a shark. The girl is a Christian but is, of course, struggling to understand why God allowed her to lose her arm. She thinks she has lost everything. A youth leader encourages her to step back and try to get a new perspective. She ends up going on a short-term mission trip to Thailand shortly after the tsunami. She realizes that though she will never be the same and she will always be missing an arm, God is still in control and He will bring good out her tragedy.

I've been thinking a lot about those same types of things lately. No, I haven't lost an arm but I have lost a husband (not my choice) and that was and is a huge piece of me. I haven't been single since I was 20 years old and that is a very long time ago. My entire adult life, all my adult experiences, all my memories (few though they may be due to my terrible forgetfulness), all my history is wrapped up together with a man who has now torn himself away. A large gaping wound is left - much like where the surfer girl's arm used to be. Why? What good is God going to bring out of this? I've come to understand that I am always going to feel the pain of my loss. It is legitimate, it is life-changing, it is agonizing. However, I can still choose to trust God in the midst of this and I can choose joy. For today, I'm doing pretty well. I'm working on being grateful for all that I do have and God is showing me in lots of small ways how specifically He is caring for me. Joy is a deeply-rooted confidence that God is in control. I praise God for that! I, obviously, have no control over anything! Believe me, when your husband takes off you realize that your carefully ordered life is an illusion. I can let this tragedy have one of two effects in my life. Either I will have my faith strengthened, and I will turn to God for comfort, or I can choose to become angry at God and turn away from Him. But if I turn from God, what do I have left? Then, I would truly have nothing!

I read a quote that said, "Hardships in life either will make you better or bitter. You decide which one it will be, because character is not made in crisis; it is revealed. It is when a crisis hits that we see what a man or woman is really made of. " I never wanted to be bitter but there have certainly been times when I did not want to be better either!! But I've had to try to get to the place where my future, my emotions, my loneliness and pain, my confusion, my shock, everything is in God's hands. I need to just be willing to rest in Him. What does that mean to me?

"It means that we come to realize God’s plan for us is better than our plan for ourselves. And when He leads us to a different place, it is for our ultimate good. Maybe it is not for our temporary good. Maybe it doesn’t make complete sense. But He has a plan. And we are to follow Him and comply."

That is my new perspective.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2, NIV).