My Mom

My kids don't seem to mind spending time with me and for that I am so blessed and so grateful. For example, today, my oldest daughter invited me to go to the fair with her (and family) and my middle daughter invited me to go to the beach with them. My youngest and her husband are now renting from me and sharing my house.

Why do I mention this? On May 23rd of this year my mom died. She had been diagnosed with Parkinson's about 4 1/2 years ago and had been in a nursing home for almost 3 years. It was a slow, lingering decline and an awful disease that stole her from us bit by tiny bit. I have many regrets but one of the biggest is that I have a terrible memory. I have almost no recollection of my childhood and very little of my daughters'. I would change that if I could but I can't. My memory of my mom exists in a vague sense - a sense of an idyllic childhood, of love and peace, security, warmth, acceptance and support. My girls share their memories of her and I savor them.

I've had to accept the fact that I will not be able to recreate the history that she and I shared except through the memories of others. But as I thought today about how lovingly my kids care for me and how excited my grandchildren are to spend time with me I realized that my mom is responsible for that. She shaped me into the mother and grandmother that I am today. She loved my girls unconditionally and didn't hesitate to get down in the dirt with them. I hope and pray that my life will reflect her as I pour into the lives of those I love and that through that, her memory will live on in me.

Feeding the Masses

For many years a Bible Study Group of young adults met every week at my house and I fed them dinner. Food is ministry. People relax and share and get to know one another over a meal. My difficulty with the meals was that I never knew how many would be showing up and I always wanted to have plenty. I also wanted to fix something that would be good leftover so that if we had a small group one week I wouldn't mind eating the leftovers for days. If anyone out there has thought about trying to provide a meal for a group I thought I'd share some ideas that worked for me.

1.   The very favorite meal was White Trash Shepherd's Pie.  It is easy to feed anywhere from four to twenty four without too much effort. Here's how it goes....

Start with ground hamburger meat. If you're making a 9 x 13 casserole size, I'd say you could use about 3 pounds of meat. I have a huge lasagna pan that I would fill and I would use 5-6 pounds of meat - just depends on how many people you're planning on feeding.

Brown the meat & drain. Mix in some cream of mushroom soup. O.K. now, here's the truth. I don't honestly cook all that much. I'm capable of cooking. I just don't often choose to. And when I do, I don't always measure. So...mix in enough soup to sort of glue the meat together.

Mix in 2 cans (or more) of drained french cut green beans. Put in casserole dish. Top with grated cheese. Then cover the whole top with Tator Tots. Bake at 350 degrees for 1/2 hour or so.

Add a green salad or fruit and you're good to go.

2.   Baked Potato Bar was another favorite. I'd wrap the potatoes in foil, bake and then set them out with all kinds of toppings. (Chile, sour cream, cheese, bacon bits, salsa, etc.) Everyone just made their own.

3.  Spaghetti Bake - I found that serving the pasta and sauce separately was too cumbersome. I really needed stuff that I could do ahead of time. So I cooked the spaghetti, added browned ground meat to some spaghetti sauce, mixed it all together, put it in a large casserole dish, sprinkled Parmesan or mozzarella cheese on top and baked it at 350 degrees until hot. It was quick and easy to serve to which was a help.

I bet you're thinking, "What's up? These recipes are not fantastic. What is so special?" And you would be right. So what's my point? The point is simply this - feed people, invite people over, practice hospitality. And do it in a relaxed, flexible fashion that doesn't stress you out. An uptight hostess makes for uptight guests.

For those of you who know me, you know that I've had a tough few years. After my husband left me, the Bible Study dissolved. For a while I've been busy struggling with the emotional issues that come with a 37 year old relationship disintegrating. Add to that the fact that my mom got sick during this time and just died a couple of months ago. I haven't reached out much to people and I recognize that God has me in a place of resting and healing right now. But we need each other. My daughters have also struggled with the changes we've experienced of late. So a few weeks ago, I instituted Family Pot Luck Night.

I invited my daughters and their husbands and kids over for dinner. Everyone brings something. So far, I've done the main dish. Tonight was a Baked Potato Bar. I had washed the potatoes last night and wrapped them in foil so I could easily pop them in the oven after work tonight. My daughters helped organize and we had a fun meal. Afterwards, my son-in-law got out his guitar and played and sang while my grandchildren banged away on his congas. There was a lot of noise and a lot of fun. I loved it. Another son-in-law is working out of town so this family chaos comforted my daughter and her kids as they are not used to being without him during the week. As the kids were being put to bed, my son-in-law continued to play the guitar for my dad. Wonderful! I cleaned up the kitchen accompanied by live entertainment.

I've lived in a hole for a while. It's time to get out. Maybe it is for you, too. Maybe it's time for you to feed someone.

My Car

I drive a 1997 Buick Le Sabre. Don't mock me. You know you want it! Seriously, my almost-ex got the nice Ford F-150 and I got the Granny-Mobile but I'm not complaining. It runs and I'm grateful for that. I've never had an accident until last year (though it hardly counts as an accident) when I turned a little too soon backing out of the parking lot where I had just gotten my hair done. (It had been a stressful year, after all.) Bam - hit a tree with the front driver's side. All was well, though. The headlight still worked, thankfully, so I simply came home and duck taped it all together. Worked great and still does. I'd send the picture of it into WhiteTrashRepairs.com but I did too good a job on it.

Anyway, as fond as I am of the old car, it has become a little quirky. A couple of weeks ago I was in the Kohl's parking lot getting ready to go use my 30% off coupon. As I walked away from my car the horn started blaring. I don't mean the intermittent honking when your car alarm goes off. This baby was like a constant air raid siren. I tried everything to get it to stop but failed. I finally decided I would have to bust it for home and just abandon the car in the driveway until the battery died. As luck would have it, it was about 5:45 p.m. so everyone was headed home from work. I prayed for green lights as I attempted to exit the parking lot. Nope. Hit the red light and was surrounded by cars, all the while my horn blaring. I kept smiling at people around me, shrugging my shoulders innocently, and hoping no one decided to flip me off or worse. Finally the light turned green and I got through the intersection and headed over the bridge, again praying for a green light. Nope. Hit the red light again. Two very nice looking young men were in a small pickup truck next to me, in the left turn lane, waiting to get on the freeway. They were both staring at me (as was everyone else) and the passenger started talking to me. Unfortunately, the horn inside my car was deafening and I couldn't hear a thing. I would have rolled down my window but (here's another quirk) the driver's side window no longer rolls down. I had to open my door (still in rush hour traffic) to hear what he was saying. He asked me if I wanted the fuse undone. What? Fuse? I have a vague idea of what a fuse is but no idea where it is. I yelled back that I really didn't know what the problem was and consequently didn't know what the solution would be either. He motioned me to pull over.

When the light turned green I went through the intersection and pulled over and they got out of the turn lane and followed me. We all got out of our cars and I explained my dilemma. The driver started fiddling under the hood and pretty soon he had disconnected the horn. Oh the blissful silence! He told me that this would hold me until I could get it fixed but I told him I was too timid to honk at anyone anyway so I was fine with no horn. He then asked if he could get in the car and check my fuses. I told him I didn't care but that I didn't want to take up anymore of their time. His passenger politely said that they'd just done their grocery shopping, were headed to Target and then home for a movie. They had been afraid that there was an emergency at the power plant and thought my horn might be the warning system. I thanked them profusely and then headed back to Kohl's. After all, I still had that 30% off coupon.

You'd think that would be the end of it. Almost. The other day, the horn went off again. How was that possible? I could see the dangling wire that had been disconnected. Turns out I have a horn on each side. During my lunch hour I quickly stopped in at my awesome mechanic's shop where the other horn and a relay (whatever that is) was disconnected. I can now, officially, not make a peep!